I have a saying that I use when the going gets tough, and it isn’t the cliché that probably popped into your head. Many years ago, my youngest son, then 9 years old, was tagging along with me at work. He was playing an indoor kickball game with his brother and slid his way into a nasty rugburn. A week later I realized the “nasty” wasn’t so much about the burn as it was the rug. During that week I had to go on an out of state trip and when I returned my son’s knee was obviously infected. I cleaned it, rubbed an antibiotic all over it, and put a clean bandage on it. I did this daily for the following week while I watched other spots pop up on his leg. Into the third week the boy had six bandages on his leg, and the cleaning ritual was now obviously an exercise in futility. Flummoxed, I made a doctor’s appointment.
By the time my sons were 9 and 11, I didn’t often feel like a naïve new mom as I had when I had first assumed the role. This visit was a throwback. The doctor, though kind, chastised me for waiting so long to get my son’s staph infection treated. “He could have lost movement of his knee.” In retrospect, and to save my reputation, that was an exaggeration. But, my efforts to nurse him back to health were definitely headed in the wrong direction.
The doctor gave me a stronger antibiotic, but the instructions he gave me left an indelible lesson. “You are going to take a clean gauze pad with antibacterial soap on it and scrub each of those wounds until they bleed. You must do this in order to remove the infected tissue before you apply the antibiotic.” Simply put: these wounds were going to have to bleed before they would heal. And heal they did. Did my son yell and cry a bit? Yes, he did. But the trajectory he was on was going to be a lot more painful and potentially cause permanent damage. Instead, abrading the wounds, applying the medicine, and giving it time, led to complete healing.
Metaphorically speaking, I have been the mom again multiple times in my consulting career. At the behest of my client, I’ve been asked to rip off the bandage, scrub away the affliction, apply the balm, and return the business to health. The lesson that doctor taught me is that just because it hurts, doesn’t mean it’s harmful.